Touchless Orgasm Exploration for Deeper Connection - Jen Woodgate

Unlock the secrets of intimacy and self-discovery with our guest, Jen Woodgate, a renowned pleasure and orgasm coach. Discover the revolutionary Touchless Orgasm Method, where Jen guides us on a bold journey beyond physical touch to explore the potential of the mind and body. Her personal story takes us from her first touchless orgasm during sleep to transformative experiences at a women's retreat, challenging societal norms and unveiling profound pathways to intimacy. This episode promises a fresh perspective on pleasure, encouraging listeners to unlock their own transformative experiences.

We'll also explore the essential practices for embracing sexuality and pleasure, with a focus on creating a safe space for exploration. Jen emphasizes mindfulness and meditation as key tools, likening touchless orgasms to a form of body meditation that centers on the present moment. Societal beliefs often block pleasure, especially for women, but Jen's method empowers individuals to connect deeply with themselves. Don't miss Jen's insights and resources, including her book, to embark on your personal journey of pleasure and empowerment. Join us as we unlock the transformative power of pleasure and explore deeper connections, one conversation at a time.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Exploring Touchless Orgasms Through Sensuality
• 11:55 Exploring Mindful Pleasure Practices
• 23:32 Unlocking Pleasure With Jen Wodke

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Sensuality is an enriching experience that transcends mere physical touch. It invites us to explore openness and vulnerability, creating deeper connections with others. By engaging in mindful touch, we enhance our awareness of each other's desires and boundaries. This practice cultivates intimacy, as it encourages honest communication and emotional safety. Each caress becomes a dialogue between bodies, transcending words and allowing us to connect on a profound level. Embracing the art of sensuality fosters trust, reigniting passion and curiosity in relationships. It's a journey of discovery, inviting us to celebrate the beauty of human connection through the transformative power of touch.

Speaker 2: 0:59

Hello and welcome back, dear listeners, to Pleasure Principles, the podcast where we dive deep into the exploration of sexuality, intimacy and the power of pleasure in our lives. I'm your host, avik, and today we are taking a fascinating journey beyond the physical, as we explore the phenomenon of touchless orgasm. Yes, you heard it correct, so my guest today is Jen Woodgate. So welcome to the show, jen.

Speaker 3: 1:28

Thank you, it's so great to be here.

Speaker 2: 1:30

Lovely, lovely. So, jen, before we proceed for the discussion, I'd quickly love to introduce you to all of our listeners. Dear listeners, Jen is a pleasure and orgasm coach who helps women connect with their deepest desires, reclaim their sexuality and expand their pleasure potential. So Jen has founded the Touchless Orgasm Method, a revolutionary approach that focuses on tapping into the pleasure that already resides within us. Pleasure that already resides within us. So her work is about liberating women from societal norms, inner critics and the confines of their own minds to discover a new level of fulfillment through their own bodies. So, jen, thank you so much for being here today with us, and we are definitely excited to explore this mind expandingexpanding topic and learn more about the incredible journey that led you to this groundbreaking work. So welcome to the show again.

Speaker 3: 2:32

Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 2: 2:33

Lovely, okay. So, jen, like I mean, if you can briefly explain what the touchless orgasm is, and for the listeners who may be hearing this concept for the first time, maybe, yeah so touchless orgasm is the.

Speaker 3: 2:48

The methodology is really about um sort of shifting how we experience pleasure. So most of us look for pleasure most of the time from external sources. So you know a partner, a vibrator, fingers, mouth, and that's all lovely, lovely and wonderful and don't want to give those up. But what we do is we shift the source for pleasure. So instead of looking to those external places, we look inside of our own bodies and then we use our mind and focus on the pleasure that we already can feel and experience inside of our bodies and then we use a variety of pleasure building tools so that we can sort of just take that pleasure and build it from the inside out. So it's a very, very different pleasure experience and it puts the power for experiencing your own pleasure and your own orgasm inside, coming from inside of yourself yeah, perfect, perfect, lovely.

Speaker 2: 3:57

So, um, like, what was your personal experience, like when you first had a touchless orgasm? Like what? Yeah it life-changing in that?

Speaker 3: 4:07

moment. Um, it wasn't life-changing in the moment directly. It took me a long time to get back to it. Um, I had my first touchless orgasm in my sleep and I've only had those probably a handful of times my my whole life. The first one was in my early 20s and I kind of went whoa, what is, what is this like? In my sex education I had been taught that men can experience pleasure in their sleep. But that was never. It was never discussed that this is something that women could experience. So I kind of went whoa, like what this? None of my friends had the experience. So I kind of just put it aside and thought that was pretty cool. That was like that was a cool thing that my body did and totally fun, not mad at that at all.

Speaker 3: 5:00

And then sort of, as I progressed into my training to become a sex coach, you know I was at a retreat in a room full of women basking in this feminine sexual energy and just the openness, like we all had open hearts and open energy and we're all working together and we had come into this retreat having done many, many practices pleasure practices ourselves at home. So I was kind of already sort of like rhymed for a touchless experience. And so, you know, surrounded by all these women and we had we had somebody who was leading us through the practice. You know, I'm lying my yoga mat, hands at my sides, and I was like, oh my God, I'm going to have an orgasm. And it wasn't just me. I could hear the women around me were clearly experiencing pleasure. I'm sure some of them also had orgasms.

Speaker 3: 5:57

I didn't actually orgasm that time. I was like, no, I need 10 more minutes. But that happened a couple couple times during that retreat and I went okay, this is real. This reminds me of that first touchless orgasm. And that was the life-changing moment, not the one in my sleep, but the time where I realized that I absolutely could replicate this experience while I was awake. And so I went back home from the retreat and wanted to make sure and experiment without having people around me, without sort of tapping into the energy of all the people in the room. So, you know, at home, by myself, in my living room, I was like, okay, this is real, like I can do this on my own. So I started mapping the things that were happening inside of my experience and inside of my body and then I began testing it testing it on a small group of women and it's replicable. It can be taught. Anybody can learn how to do it.

Speaker 2: 7:07

Well, that's really great and thanks for sharing this. And so also like from the listener's perspective, I'm saying, like many might wonder that how is it possible to experience an orgasm without the physical touch? So what is actually happening?

Speaker 3: 7:24

yeah, yeah yeah, so there's three sort of keys, are three main elements, if you will. So the first is our body. Obviously, our body is the vehicle by which we experience pleasure. So a lot, lot of people, because we live in a sex negative world, sex negative society, so a lot of people and women, women people sort of become can become numbed and cut off from their pleasure and what they experience in their body.

Speaker 3: 7:55

So, inside of the touchless orgasm method, we spend time focusing on building that body, sensitivity to pleasure and awareness of what pleasure feels in the body, and then we have to bring our mind into it. Right, like, our mind is the most powerful sex organ, right? Yeah, so there's a lot of tools that we use. So we essentially are focusing the mind, uh, onto the body so we can experience that pleasure, and then we bring in pleasure building tools and that's that. It is that straightforward. But I think, I think people need to. What people need to realize is that so many of us have so many resistances and blockages along the way. So, even though the process is simple, most people are going to bring up, you know, they're going to have to investigate a lot of their own beliefs, find out what's in the way to their pleasure, and that can be really really hard work for a lot of people.

Speaker 2: 9:05

That's true, that's true, definitely so also like. Some skeptics might argue that this sounds too mystical or even impossible. So how do you respond to that?

Speaker 3: 9:11

There.

Speaker 3: 9:12

You know, it's so incredible. There is science that actually shows that the experiences that we create in our mind, our body, doesn't register them as not real. It's absolutely fascinating. So one of the things that we do inside of the touchless orgasm methodology is we spend a lot of time sort of training our body to be comfortable with pleasure and to be safe with pleasure, so that we can start to. We basically are creating neural, new neural pathways, right?

Speaker 3: 9:47

So most of us, when we experience, however, we first experience pleasure, our body goes. Our body and our brain is working together to go okay, this works. This pleasure pathway takes me to orgasm, and we keep doing that over and over and over again. So basically, we have like one highway to get to our destination. But the reality is, if we do focused pleasure practices, all of a sudden we can start to build these little side roads and we can start to expand how we experience pleasure, the context in which we can experience pleasure, and then everything basically can blow open and each and every one of us have an infinite amount of pleasure available to us.

Speaker 3: 10:29

Most of us have just never, ever been taught how to tap into that. So there is science behind this, and I mean, if anybody listening wants to sort of play along, the very first, one of the easiest exercises to start is to just wherever you are, wherever you're listening as long as you're not driving, don't do this while you're driving and then you just focus your energy, focus your attention on to your genitals and notice what is there. And that's really true for any part of our bodies. Right, like I'm sitting on my chair, I can't. My body tunes out what my pants feel like against my legs. Right, my body tunes out the feel of my hair against my skin. But as soon as I put my awareness on that, I can feel it right. So it's really about bringing in that awareness. So as soon as you start taking that first step, over and over and over again, you start to build the ability to connect with and experience your pleasure perfect, perfect, lovely.

Speaker 2: 11:34

So uh like from again having kind of uh perspective from the listener, like what does the process look like for someone who is new to this, or maybe a newbie? Definitely so. How does one begin to explore their own capacity for a touchless orgasm?

Speaker 3: 11:53

yeah, so we start there. There are some foundational practices, um, one of which is safety. So we work a little bit on making sure that we feel safe to explore our sexuality and our pleasure. If that's not there, that's the key, one of the main keys to everything. If we can't create safety, then you're kind of cut off at the pass right. You have to create sexual safety before you can really get into all the pleasure that's available to you. So that's one of the main main foundational practices.

Speaker 3: 12:23

And again, we use our mind, a combination of mind and body, to sort of create the feeling of safety, uh. And then we do a lot of work, uh, on a full body scan, so it doesn't directly go into sex and pleasure, but it's like what can I feel in my head? And then we move down, like what do I feel in my shoulders, in my arms, like what do I feel in my body? We have to really tune in to the wisdom and sensations and awareness of what happens in our bodies. So those are two main foundational practices. And then sort of the third one is kind of builds on what I was mentioning before, that our mind has this like amazing, it's like a powerful supercomputer. So we practice experiencing pleasure, we practice creating an environment where we can experience pleasure. What would it be like, what would I experience if I had this touchless orgasm, or any orgasm? What would I be experiencing around me? So we start really building these new pathways so that our body can feel it, our body feels safe. And that's when the pleasure doors open.

Speaker 2: 13:38

Okay, lovely, and, like you mentioned that, creating the inner critic and also about getting out of the mind. So how big of a role does mindfulness or meditation play in this practice?

Speaker 3: 13:54

It's a huge, huge in some way. You know, I've been thinking about mindfulness and meditation and touchless orgasm a lot the past couple of days. I've been deep into my own pleasure practices lately. I almost think that pleasure like doing the touchless orgasm method and connecting with pleasure it is a form of meditation. It is a form of mindfulness, because we really do want to sort of create really focused awareness of the present, like your sexual history, your sexual past doesn't matter, sexual past doesn't matter. So we let that go, we want to focus on what we are experiencing now. So it really is a deep mindfulness and it's a deep, I would say, a deep body meditation because we are going in and looking at the body and just spending time sort of experiencing our body and being like deliberately experiencing our body, which most of us don't really do. So super, super key. Mindfulness and meditation are just sort of, by the very nature of the work, just woven into the touchless orgasm method perfect, lovely and um like um.

Speaker 2: 15:13

How do societal beliefs around sexuality, especially for the woman, block the ability to experience this kind of orgasm?

Speaker 3: 15:21

I think it can block the ability to experience any orgasm and pleasure.

Speaker 3: 15:25

I think it's a very, very broad blockage. You know it really, we all have our sort of unique ecosystems in our family, what we learn from our family, but we also have most of us have some sort of religious teachings. We learn things at school, we learn from our peers and there are so many messages about usually the very narrow way in which we are allowed, especially for women, when we are allowed to experience sex in general and sometimes pleasure for some women, depending on their upbringing, pleasure is not even in the conversation. You know, in the West many women are brought that sex is in the context of marriage, it's to have babies and that's it, and their pleasure isn't even involved in the conversation. So it really depends on where she was brought up, what belief she was raised with, but chances are everybody listening to this, male or female or any gender, gender. Chances are they've taken on deep in their subconscious some blocks about sexuality, some beliefs, um, that are probably in the way to fully expanding into their pleasure all right understood.

Speaker 2: 16:48

Yeah, yeah also. Uh, it might be contradictory, but um do men face similar blocks?

Speaker 3: 16:58

yeah, yeah, yes, yeah, they get. I mean, men get some different conditioning from women around sexuality, for sure, um, but we all take on some of the beliefs from society and how we grew up that get in the way. I mean men. Men are often taught things like there's this idea that men are ready to have sex at any time with any woman you know, which that doesn't support men, and often men are taught that they can get hard anytime, all the time, you know. And so we have a lot of negative beliefs around male sexuality as well, definitely.

Speaker 2: 17:36

Lovely Thanks for sharing this, and also the idea of a touchless orgasm sounds empowering. But some also might feel that it's a kind of pressure. So yeah, they can't achieve it, so yeah yeah, yeah, thank you for bringing that up.

Speaker 3: 17:54

That was a major point I wanted to address as well. The last thing that I would ever want to suggest is that this is something that women need to perform or anyone listening feels that they need to perform. This is a system that is for your pleasure, and if you don't want to experience touchless orgasm or you can't, that's totally fine. And it's not the easiest thing to learn. And even me, who I've been working with touchless pleasure and orgasm for a long, long time, I don't orgasm consistently through my touchless practices and sometimes I don't want to, sometimes just finding the pleasure, that's enough, right.

Speaker 3: 18:40

So, for example, I did a pleasure practice earlier this morning, did not orgasm, but when I did this touchless practice, even though there was no orgasm, I felt really connected with the universe. I felt really connected with myself. I felt love, self-compaction, while feeling some physical sexual pleasure. So you don't have to. This isn't something anybody has to do. It is intended to be an empowering way to experience pleasure and it doesn't have to include touch orgasm. If, again, that's not something somebody wants to experience or initially can experience, it can be a long journey, depending on your sexual, the sexual ecology. You are coming into the practice with.

Speaker 2: 19:35

Perfect, perfect, lovely. So also is there a risk that creates another form of performance anxiety?

Speaker 3: 19:42

I don't know. I mean I don't know, I suppose it could. But what I would say to that is that whenever you're engaging with your pleasure, with intention and that's one of the keys to the touchless orgasm method is you're working with your pleasure, with the intention of expanding. So, even if you don't have the experience you want and that happens to me all the time in my practices, I don't always have the experience, yeah, that I want but you will always get the experience that you need on your journey. Like, whatever happens in your practice is what was meant to happen, what you needed to experience. True.

Speaker 2: 20:22

Yeah, so like on a deeper level, is the touchless orgasm really really about orgasms or it is about a shift in how we understand and connect with our bodies and the desires?

Speaker 3: 20:37

I think it's more about the shift than the orgasm. I think it's journey oriented as opposed to outcome oriented, definitely.

Speaker 2: 20:47

Okay, lovely, so perfect. And also like for the listeners who are intrigued by this but unsure, like where to start. What's the first step that you would suggest?

Speaker 3: 21:00

The first step would be to just carve out five minutes in your day. I usually suggest doing this before you get out of bed in the morning or before you go to sleep at night. Just take five minutes you can even set your timer on your phone and you're just going to breathe. You're going to tune into your body head to toe. What sensations do I feel? What is alive in my body? Does anything feel pleasurable?

Speaker 3: 21:26

And after you do a head to toe, you just want to breathe and focus on your genitals and that's it. That's your start. It's just that awareness, using your mind, putting it onto your genitals and your pleasure. That's step one. And I do want to say for many people that do that the first time, they won't feel anything. That is totally, totally normal. Feeling that numbness and a bit of disconnect is part of the process. But if you practice this five minute, you know, breathing, awareness on your genitals for five minutes a day, you will start to build up the body sensitivity and you will start to be more tuned in to the pleasure sensations.

Speaker 2: 22:13

Lovely, lovely. And is this accessible for everyone like, regardless of the sexual experience?

Speaker 3: 22:19

Yes, I think it's a really great. I think it's an especially really great tool for people who have sexual wounding or sexual trauma or pain, because there's no touch, right Like. I can sit here, I can close my eyes and I could do touchless pleasure practices and nobody would know. So it's completely private, Nobody has to know what you're doing. There's no touch. So you don't need to worry about somebody violating your boundaries or somebody pushing you too far. You can just be so kind to yourself, be gentle, and just slowly, slowly begin to tune into your pleasure, work with your pleasure, and I think it's really great for everybody for those reasons.

Speaker 2: 23:10

Perfect, perfect, lovely, great. So, jen, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and the insights today, and this exploration of the touchless orgasm has truly been an eye opening, I'd say, and I think like it's inspired many of our listeners to rethink the boundaries of pleasure and the connection with their own bodies. So, for those who want to learn more about your walk and explore the touchless orgasm method, so how they can connect with you if they want to connect, I'm on Instagram and my website.

Speaker 3: 23:45

Both are my name, so Jen Wodke, so J-E-N-N-W-O-D-T-K-E. That's my website and my Instagram, so I talk about touchless orgasm there. I have a book available on my site for $5, which takes you through the whole method, so anyone that wants to get started can really do it at a super, super low cost.

Speaker 2: 24:07

Perfect, perfect, lovely, great. So. So, dear listeners, like, if you want to learn more about her work, be sure to check out her website and the resources, and I'll also make sure I'll put this into the show notes so that it will be much easier for all of you to reach out to her and always remember that pleasure is a powerful force in our lives and connecting with it on a deeper level can open up extraordinary experiences. So until next time, I'm Abhi Kiyoho, signing off, and this has been Pleasure Principles, where we unlock the secrets of intimacy one conversation at a time. So, thank you so much.