Unveiling Purpose for Deeper Intimacy and Connection - Ian Chamandy

Can discovering your unique purpose transform your intimate relationships? Join us as we unravel this intriguing connection with Ian Chamandy, a seasoned expert in helping individuals and organizations distill their purpose into seven impactful words. Drawing inspiration from Pablo Picasso, Ian Chamandy explains how understanding our distinct gifts can enhance all facets of life, from personal to professional. Our conversation sheds light on the simplicity and clarity that comes with embracing what makes you uniquely remarkable. By exploring real-world examples, including how even giants like IBM maintain a consistent purpose, we reveal how this transformative approach can lead to a more vibrant and meaningful existence.

In our next segment, we delve into the art of aligning decisions with your life's purpose. If you've ever felt lost in the sea of life's choices, we offer a beacon of guidance with thought-provoking questions designed to help you find your underlying drive. Discover the power of PurposeU, a pioneering company using AI technology to help individuals uncover their purpose by identifying insights and patterns in their life journey. Our discussion emphasizes the profound impact that self-awareness and purpose can have on emotional and sexual intimacy, leading to deeper and more fulfilling connections. This episode promises to inspire you to tap into your unique superpower, enhancing both confidence and your strategic approach to life.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Purpose and Sensuality in Relationships
• 13:53 Discovering Your Unique Life Purpose
• 21:27 Deepening Connections Through Purpose and Pleasure

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Sensuality is an enriching experience that transcends mere physical touch. It invites us to explore openness and vulnerability, creating deeper connections with others. By engaging in mindful touch, we enhance our awareness of each other's desires and boundaries. This practice cultivates intimacy, as it encourages honest communication and emotional safety. Each caress becomes a dialogue between bodies, transcending words and allowing us to connect on a profound level. Embracing the art of sensuality fosters trust, reigniting passion and curiosity in relationships. It's a journey of discovery, inviting us to celebrate the beauty of human connection through the transformative power of touch.

Speaker 2: 0:59

Hey everyone, welcome to Pleasure Principles, where we dive into what makes life vibrant, fulfilling and truly meaningful. Welcome to Pleasure Principles, where we dive into what makes life vibrant, fulfilling and truly meaningful. I'm your host, avik, and today we are exploring something that's powerful, personal and universal. Yes, it's purpose. So ever wonder like how defining your purpose can influence all the aspects of life, like including sexuality and the intimate relationships. Okay, so joining me today is Jan Chamedy, so welcome to the show, jan.

Speaker 3: 1:31

Thank you very much, Abik.

Speaker 2: 1:33

Lovely, lovely. So before we start our conversation and delve deep into this topic, I'll quickly love to introduce you to all of our listeners. Dear listeners, jan is a seasoned expert who's worked with over 400 organizations and individuals to distill the purpose into seven powerful words. So he's here to show us how finding our purpose can be a game changer in ways we might not even expect. So if you're curious about connecting deeply with yourselves and others, then this conversation is definitely for you. So let's get started, and welcome to the show again, ian.

Speaker 3: 2:14

Thank you very much, Abik. It's great to be here.

Speaker 2: 2:16

Great, great. So, ian, there might be some listeners who may not be able to understand the exact meaning of the purpose, so if you can define purpose in the simplest terms for them, I've got to tell you I'm so happy you started there, because most conversations about purpose assume that everybody knows what purpose is.

Speaker 3: 2:40

So they start yakking purpose, purpose, purpose. And when I stop a conversation and I say to them what exactly is purpose, they start stumbling. They'll do one of two things. They'll give an answer like well, it's why we exist a long, circuitous or maybe academic definition that has you scratching your head and now you don't know what you're talking about, because you don't even know what the definition of purpose is.

Speaker 3: 3:13

So I got my definition of purpose from Pablo Picasso, the artist, and he has a famous quote where he said the meaning of life is to find your gift and your purpose is to share it with the world, and I thought that was brilliant. So I rephrased that to make it a little simpler and I mean it already is pretty simple. But, um, I say your purpose in life is to find your gift and share it with the world, true. Now what that means is so let's look at that sentence. If we say your purpose in life is to find your gift and share it with the world, but to find your gift, what does that mean? And what that means is to find what makes you uniquely remarkable. That's your gift.

Speaker 3: 4:10

Your gift isn't something like being a good piano player. Your gift is much deeper than that. Your gift is finding that one thing that makes you uniquely remarkable as a human being and share that with the world. And, as you know, none of us have ever met two people in the world who are exactly the same, even twins. They're not exactly the same. There is something that makes every single human uniquely remarkable. We can see that with our own eyes, that we're all different, uniquely remarkable. We can see that with our own eyes, that we're all different. So what is that thing? And when you know what it is? Now you have the opportunity to share it with the world. So my definition of purpose is your gift, which is, you know, it's not very descriptive To me, that's not very helpful, but it is to find that your gift is that one thing that makes you uniquely remarkable. That's what purpose. Is that one thing at your core, at your essence, that makes you uniquely remarkable?

Speaker 2: 5:14

yeah, exactly, I totally agree with this. Yes and uh, definitely, this is something, uh, which sounds like oh, purpose. I know about it, but at the end, exactly, we do not know what the truly mean of purpose is. So, exactly this. Thanks for sharing this. It's.

Speaker 3: 5:33

It's very, very important, yeah and it's and, by the way, by the way, it's very simple, right? So if you, if you accept the definition of purpose is why I exist, how the heck do you answer that question, right? You're just going to run around chasing your tail, when it is that one thing that makes you uniquely remarkable. You have something very clear about, and very tangible, that you are now searching for yeah, okay.

Speaker 2: 6:11

So also like, uh, you have worked with hundreds of people to define their purpose in, uh, just seven words. So, uh, how does this work for the personal life?

Speaker 3: 6:22

I mean not just the business so, um, originally, my system was developed for companies to define what makes them uniquely remarkable. And even for the biggest companies that are the most diverse, there is some common thread that ties them together or that ties all of their activities together. And when you find that you know, as a company, what makes you uniquely remarkable and let me give you one example of that, because IBM is a big international company that most people know After the Second World War, what role did IBM play in global business community? Well, it provided the most essential technology tools to the biggest businesses in the world. That's what ibm was doing in the 1940s and 50s and 60s. Yeah, it's ibm doing now. It is providing the most essential technology tools to the biggest companies in the world. The companies existed for, for you know, about a century, and it has been doing the same thing all the way through Many, many leaders, hundreds of thousands or millions of employees later, and it is still doing exactly the same same thing. It's not doing it deliberately. Its purpose is in there, keeping it on the straight and narrow to the best of its ability. If ibm was able to articulate that, they could do it even better. So, anyway, that's companies.

Speaker 3: 7:58

Um, I realized that if I, if I took that corporate blueprint system and I stripped out the things that didn't pertain to an individual and added some things that did pertain to an individual, that I could have an individual or personal version of a blueprint where you, as a human being, define your purpose what makes you uniquely remarkable in seven words or less, and then you use that to design a life of meaning and purpose.

Speaker 3: 8:37

Right Now, once you know what your purpose is, you can live your purpose with intentionality. You can design how, in the area of family, in the area of finance, in the area of leisure and recreation, in the area of your career, how you are going to lead a purpose-driven life when you can articulate your purpose in seven words or less and it's usually two or three or four words. Actually, I know seven doesn't sound like very much, but it usually ends up being two or three or four words. And I'll give you an example my purpose statement is transforming confusion into clarity. If you want to live a purpose-driven life and don't know how to do that, I transform that confusion into clarity by offering you a course online where I lead you, step by step, through the process of discovering your purpose in seven words or less and then designing a purpose driven life. So that's how it pertains to the individual.

Speaker 2: 9:46

Got it.

Speaker 3: 10:12

Got it and also with this. Do you think that purpose is? But it is. You know, when you're thinking about your partner in a relationship and everything you know about them. Some things are big, some things are small, but as the relationship grows you get to know more and more about them. I'm going to suggest to you that knowing what makes your partner uniquely remarkable is one of the most important pieces of information you need to know about them and if you do like, you may have a great relationship now. But I guarantee you, if you know what makes them uniquely remarkable and they know what makes you uniquely remarkable, you are going to be talking on a higher plane because you know each other so much better.

Speaker 3: 11:01

If you didn't know each other, then if you didn't know, forget purpose. If you don't know what makes each other, if you can't articulate what makes each other uniquely remarkable, then it doesn't matter how good your relationship is. It can be better, because knowing that will jump you up a level in terms of relatedness to your sexual relationship as a couple or just your sexuality in general, is, the more you know about yourself, the more you can communicate to others authentically who you are and what your needs are, and the more authentically they can communicate to you who they are and what their needs are, the more accurately you can address those needs. And that's why knowing something is profound is what makes your partner uniquely remarkable, and for them to know what makes you uniquely remarkable is so important, not just for your relationship, but also for the sexual aspect of your relation. Relationship. Know thyself, but also for the sexual aspect of your relationship Know thyself, as Shakespeare said.

Speaker 2: 12:11

Exactly so what about someone who feels content but doesn't have a specific purpose? So are they missing out something? What?

Speaker 3: 12:26

do you say that's up to them, right, like in your relationship. If you're, you know, if you're happy and everything's ticking along just fine, you know. I would still recommend you discover your purpose, because you're going to lead a better life when you know what makes you uniquely remarkable, what your superpower is. Yeah, but if you're happy now, you don't have to do this because you're happy exactly purpose is to make you more happy.

Speaker 3: 12:57

But if you're happy with where you are now, now I am going to suggest that, yes, you are missing something, because you can take that relationship to a higher level. But you may not want to do that because you're just really happy where you are now.

Speaker 2: 13:12

Exactly Perfect, perfect, so okay. And also about how can a purpose-driven life help someone face challenges or setbacks in their relationships challenges or setbacks in the relationships.

Speaker 3: 13:36

So, um, what so? Because the definition of purpose is that one thing that makes you uniquely remarkable. Right? So now you know your superpower. The thing about that, what is so powerful for you is it is actually a simple decision-making tool. So you're faced with a decision. How do you decide? Sometimes it's obvious what you should do, but other times it's really difficult to figure that out.

Speaker 3: 14:03

When you know your purpose, it helps you make that decision because you can say I'm faced with two choices here, or three choices here. Which one is most aligned with my purpose? And that will help you make that decision better. True your purpose, just so you know the components, right, the components right, the component parts of your purpose are your beliefs, your wants and your talents. So when I say something like you are making a decision that is aligned with your purpose, that's kind of abstract. Really saying is that you are making a decision that is designed sorry that is aligned with your beliefs, wants and talents. True, and now you get why. You know choosing option b, which is more aligned with your purpose, is the best option, because it's aligned with your beliefs, your wants and your talents.

Speaker 2: 15:08

Yeah, perfect, perfect, lovely. So for the listeners who want to find their purpose but feel lost. So where's a good place to start?

Speaker 3: 15:22

Let me talk about the feeling lost first.

Speaker 2: 15:26

Okay.

Speaker 3: 15:27

We all do right At some point or another, and hopefully it's for short periods of time, but for some people it's longer. Yeah, and I think the majority of the people when you figure the world is what? Seven or eight billion people, the majority of the people walk through their lives thinking that there's nothing special about them, that you know, they toil away at their jobs, they exist inside their relationships, and those relationships may be wonderful and those jobs may be wonderful, and their families may be wonderful, but they don't see themselves as being anything special. Everybody has something that makes them uniquely remarkable. And when you discover that, when you discover your superpower, your, you know your magic, it elevates your confidence because, first of all, it resonates on a deep emotional level with you. So when you finally reveal your purpose, you say, oh god, that's me, that's me, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's who I am, that's who I want to be. Right, that's how you grasp it. It's not like, oh yes, that's that's a good expression, sure, that's my purpose. No, no, you're passionate about it and nobody can ever take that away from you. And so you now not only have a superpower, but you know what it is. You can use it as a decision-making tool. So it is like a strategic asset for your life. So how do you figure out your purpose? Well, I'll give you a head start with a simple question. If everything you do in your life is a means to an end, what is the end purpose? Now, what that question does is it says to you that nothing that you actually do is your purpose. Everything that you do is an expression of your purpose. True, but your purpose is something else, right?

Speaker 3: 17:34

I once read a book called girdle, escher and bach. Girdle is a mathematician who didn't just rock the world of math, he rocks the world with his discovery. Escher is the artist who does all those you know, mind bending, bending illustrations. And Bach is the composer who penned some tunes for the ages. And the author said those are three shadows cast from the same stone. And what he meant was there is a similar source, even though all three of those things are very different. And the book tried to describe the source.

Speaker 3: 18:19

I'm borrowing that metaphor and I'm saying your purpose is the stone from which all the shadows of your life are cast your career, your family, your recreational interests, your reading interests, your political all those are shadows cast from the same stone and that stone is your purpose. Yeah, avik, in answering your question I've kind of forgotten the question. Oh, right, right, right, right, yeah. So the other answer to the question so yeah, so if everything you do, meaning all the shadows of the stone are a means to an end, what is the end purpose and what is the stone? So that's one thing you can do to get your mind working.

Speaker 3: 19:06

The other thing you can do is I'm going to say it's very self-serving, because I have a company called PurposeU it's like Purpose University, right a company called PurposeU it's like Purpose University, right and we provide you with a course to discover your purpose and then design a life of meaning and purpose. So I lead you step by step by step through a process. It's a really difficult thing to do on your own, but it's really simple to do in my process, because I tell you all the steps you need to take to reveal your purpose. And the special treat in this process is that we have built in a special kind of AI into this course. It is AI that is all things purpose and it is your assistant sitting beside you in a chair as you walk through this process to discover your purpose. So it can do things. It can see what you can't see, it can draw, it can see common threads that tie things together that you can't see, and so we will use AI and its special capabilities to help you reveal your purpose in seven words or less.

Speaker 3: 20:30

So that course is offered at the website is purposeuco. So that's purpose, with the letter U at the end, dot C-O, and when you get there, we're launching the course soon. What you can do is you can enter your email and as soon as the course is launched, you'll get an email from us saying hey, come on in, we'd love to have you. So I would ask all of your listeners if you're interested in discovering what makes you uniquely remarkable and having that propel your life forward from now on, go to purposeuco, enter your email address and then take the course as soon as it launches.

Speaker 2: 21:19

Yeah, got it Lovely. That's really, really great. I would say so, jan, it's been an enlightening having you. On Pleasure Principles, I would say Thank you so much for sharing how purpose shapes not only our daily lives but our deepest connections, exactly exactly.

Speaker 3: 21:40

And in conclusion to what you just said, yeah, I would say the better you know each other, the deeper you can take those connections, both emotionally and sexually, and there are not too many things that are going to help you know your partner better and have your partner know you better than knowing what it is that makes you uniquely remarkable. That's the bottom line to me.

Speaker 2: 22:06

That's awesome. That's awesome. I would say great. Thank you so much for sharing this and also for the listeners I'd love to mention. If you are curious about discovering your purpose and seeing where it can lead you, then definitely check out Ian's work and his blueprint process and always remember that there's a power in knowing what drives you, especially when it comes to finding joy and the fulfillment. So catch you all next time and keep chasing what makes you come alive. So thank you so much.