Redefining Self-Perception and Growth Through Personal Narratives and Transformative Experiences - Dr. Le Santha Naidoo

Discover how the stories we tell ourselves can shape our lives with the remarkable Dr. Le Santha Naidoo, as she shares her personal journey and professional insights. From the deep influence of her grandfather’s passing to her transformative role as an elite concierge physician, Dr. Le Santha Naidoo reveals how pivotal experiences have crafted her path. With her bestselling book "Fat to Fabulous" as a backdrop, we explore the profound connection between self-perception and the relationships we cultivate. Listeners are invited to reflect on the narratives they construct about their bodies and self-worth, and how these narratives impact their health and interactions with others.

Join us on an empowering expedition of redefining personal narratives with an open mind. We challenge outdated beliefs that no longer serve us, illuminating how questioning ingrained stories can lead to success and fulfillment. Through volunteerism and seeing failure as a crucial stepping stone, Dr. Le Santha Naidoo and I discuss strategies for embracing change and fostering personal growth. This conversation promises to inspire you to take charge of your development, creatively mapping out your journey toward achieving your goals. Prepare to be motivated to rewrite your story and harness the power of self-transformation.

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Chapters

• 0:01 Transformative Stories
• 14:44 Empowering Self-Transformation Through Open-Mindedness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey everyone, welcome back to Pleasure Principles, the podcast, where we dive deep into the ways our stories, experiences and beliefs shape the way we live, love and relate to the world around us. I'm your host, vivek, and, as always, I'm thrilled to have you here on for another fascinating conversation. So today's episode is all about the stories that we carry from our lives, how they impact how we see ourselves and, in turn, how we navigate our relationships. So we all have those pivotal moments, big or small, that shape our identity, influence our self-worth and ripple through the connections we build with the others. That's interesting, right so? And joining me today is someone whose story is as inspiring as it is transformative. My guest today is none other than Dr Lysantha Maidu, so welcome to the show, doctor.

Speaker 2: 1:08

Excited to be here.

Speaker 1: 1:10

Lovely, lovely. So, dear listeners, before we start our conversation, I'd quickly love to introduce you with Dr Lysantha. Dear listeners, she is a number one international bestselling author of Fat to Fabulous yes, fat to Fabulous A triple board certified physician, an award winning speaker who's grazed the stages of NASA, nasdaq and the New York Academy of Medicine, and a trusted health expert, featured on ABC, nbc, CBS and Fox. So you can imagine who is with us today. So she is a force of nature and today she is here to share her journey from throwing a tantrum over ticket bars at age two to becoming an elite concierge physician for hundreds of the wealthiest people in America. So, dr Lisanta, welcome to the show. Thank you, lovely. So your story is such a powerful example of the transformation, like from that defining moment with the Kit Kat bars to the incredible work that you do now. How do you think those early experiences shaped your relationship with yourself and, by extension, your relationship with others?

Speaker 2: 2:38

You know, in my book Fat to Fabulous I go through a lot of stories from my life and in writing that and thinking of all these experiences, it is really amazing how the experiences from the very beginning shape how I think and I see this so much in the patients that I serve and the people that I talk to excuse me how we think, how we think about ourselves, how we think about the world, how we show up, and really shapes what we do and how we do things.

Speaker 1: 3:14

That's so interesting, I would say. And I mean, when you look back, was there a particular moment when you realized that the story you were living wasn't serving you anymore? I mean, what sparked that?

Speaker 2: 3:32

Yes, you know you mentioned the story about the Kit Kat bars and a big thing in that story actually is my grandfather had Skyward. The City bought me a whole bunch of Kit Kat bars. I love them. A couple years later, when I was four years old, he had passed away. I remember being woken up in the middle of the night and bundled up by my parents, driven to my grandparents' house and that night there was just a somber mood in the air. But I was four years old. I didn't know what that meant. He had actually taken his own life and the next day he was cremated. Those flames were huge and it's actually only in the last five or six years that I had realized.

Speaker 2: 4:17

If anyone had asked me before you know how did your grandfather's passing affect your life? I would have said you know, I know what happened, I am fully aware of it, but it really didn't affect my life until about five to six years ago where it started to really show. How has it affected my life, and I've delved deep into that and it affected the way I showed up for myself. It affected the way I think about society and how I need to take care of people. I believe it's one of my first experiences that led me to wanting to be a doctor and help people and make people happy. It has affected my views, values and, in many cases, how I look at my own self-worth as well, and my journey has almost been dictated by that in many ways.

Speaker 2: 5:10

And so when we talk about relationships and intimacy, I think about it in a way that I think about it. To me, it's not just about your spouse or your lover, your partner. That's with you. It's intimacy with anybody. Intimacy is about the connection between two people, and I would even argue that we have an intimate relationship with ourselves right, even though we're not two separate people. But you have to have an intimate relationship with yourselves, and there's many aspects to that as well. Have an intimate relationship with yourselves, and there's many aspects to that as well. And so, as we journey through life and we have these different experiences, it shapes how we view the world, how we think about ourselves, how we show up for other people, and it's really important, I think, to look back at those and think about you know who are we, who are we for ourselves, who are we for other people, and for me, that has created a transformational change.

Speaker 1: 6:07

Yes, very truly said yeah, and I like your book. In your book, fat to Fabulous, you talk about the connection between the self-perception and the health. So how much do you think the stories that we tell ourselves about our bodies and worthiness impacts the relationship that we attract?

Speaker 2: 6:35

What we tell ourselves is how we reflect to the outside world. So if we think that I'm not worthy, that I am, let's say in my book if I'm fat, right, if I'm not good enough. That is how we're going to show up for the world and that's how the world is going to then reflect back at you. Those are the people that you're going to attract. You're going to attract the people who fulfill that prophecy in many ways, and one of the stories I share is about a relationship that I had when I was younger, and it was a unique relationship in that, up to that point, I had felt that I was not good enough, that I wasn't looking good enough, that for me, my only focus was I was going to become a doctor and that was what I was going to do. And then, all of a sudden, all the relationships I attracted up to that point really was similar to that, was the same sort of feedback given to me, and I just thought, okay, well, that's who I am, that's who I attracted, that's who I tracked and that's okay.

Speaker 2: 7:41

And then there was one pivotal relationship where the other person looked at me and it seemed so simple but yet ended up being so profound. He just looked at me and he said, wow, I really like your hair. And I was like, huh, okay, that's strange odd. He says, no, your hair is so nice and bouncy. I had a lot more hair then. It was much long and flowy, you know, he's like, it's so bouncy and it just matches your personality. And even in that moment I very vividly remember thinking you know this is strange and you know what is he even talking about?

Speaker 2: 8:19

What you know, and I wanted to just brush it off because that's that what he saw was not how I was showing up, and so it really started to make me think. You know what maybe I do need to think about, or I need to be able to accept that compliment, right, we're so used to saying, and even in my book I wrote, you know he said this and I thought, wow, my hair dryer and round brush really did a good job. Today, when you know why, couldn't I just accept for myself that I do have a bouncy, bubbly personality and that makes me look good. So how we think about ourselves really reflects to the outside world and that's what we're going to attract. So, again, just re-emphasizes why we need to think positively about ourselves. We need to nourish ourselves with positive energy, with good food, with good movement, with good education. You know, whatever we consume and who we talk to and who we interact with, it all impacts how we think of ourselves and feel about ourselves and put ourselves forward to the world.

Speaker 1: 9:29

Exactly, very true, yeah. And also one more thing is coming to my mind. Like many of us create these identities or levels like successful, attractive, healthy, to kind of feel secure, but sometimes they can become cages as well. So have you ever seen someone who is redefining their story completely and change their life and relationship in this process?

Speaker 2: 9:54

I see this all the time. You know, in the way that I take care of my patients, I really delve into this holistic approach and try to assess what are their goals, what do they think about these different aspects? Because we all have different viewpoints, right, success to one person looks different than success to another person. So when I create a wellness plan, I really want to know what does that look like for the individual? But that's also very important for us to define it by ourselves, for ourselves, but also change that over time. You know, for me, success five years ago looks very different than what I think of success right now. The other thing is we need to give ourselves grace. We need to, you know, modify along the way, based on what's going on, how we're feeling about things, because if we're just feeling defeated by what we're putting on ourselves, then the idea of success in this moment needs to change a little bit so that we can give ourselves the evidence, create the evidence of how we are successful and incrementally get to that point. Now. The other thing is, as we evolve over time, based on who we interact with, again, what we do and what we consume, then the idea of success can also change.

Speaker 2: 11:15

So a good example for me at the very beginning, my idea of success was becoming a doctor. Right, everything I did, everything I thought about was I need to be a doctor, and that's that was success. And then I became a doctor and I graduated and I was like, huh, this is not all that I thought it was going to be. You know, it's not. I'm confined by so many aspects, whether it's insurance, whether it's my employer. And then I had to redefine, even as a doctor, what does that mean? And I decided you know what? I am not going to practice medicine the way the world tells me that it should be practiced. I'm going to practice medicine the way I believe medicine should be practiced and why. I've tailored my practice and my approach to those values that I believe in, so that I feel like I can be successful there.

Speaker 2: 12:08

Then I thought, okay, success is you need to make a ton of money. And then you know, I start making money and I realize but I'm not happy, I'm busy. My relationship with my husband, my relationship with my children, my relationship with myself is being sacrificed in that, and so it's not about the money, it's more about how do I show up for people. How am I showing up for myself? Can I actually spend time with my children and be there with them and experience the joy, experience who they are as human beings? To me, that is far better than the number in my bank account at the end of the day.

Speaker 2: 12:46

And so, again, I had to tailor what I'm doing in order to create what I value. To me, living to your values is where success is. And so what do I value? And, although the other aspects are important, I believe I value education. I do value money. We need it to live, we need it to survive and we need it to be comfortable, you know, and adventurous and all of these things. So I value those things. But what the goal is and where we set the bar, I believe needs to change over time, depending on where we're at, where we are, and to create that self-value exactly, exactly and and uh.

Speaker 1: 13:33

Also, like you mentioned in your own story that your relationship with the food and the weight began with a simple moment as a child Like what advice would you give to someone who feels trapped in a narrative that they can't seem to escape, especially when it ties into something as deeply personal as their health or the relationships?

Speaker 2: 13:56

For me, I think it is the understanding of what the possibilities are. I remember early on in my journey actually, you know, my journey about my health and my weight really spanned my whole life because it started that young my family is a family of doctors I heard so much you need to lose weight, you need to. You know all that. But I felt helpless because people would tell me that and people would say it's as simple as eat less and exercise more. And I did that and it wasn't working, you know. So the narrative was decades long and ultimately I got to a point of there's no way of changing this right. This is who I am, these are the cards I've been dealt with, this is the society we live in and all the things we say right and we tell ourselves what helped me break through? That was a couple things in one concept, essentially, but it's really understanding the possibility and being curious hey, what if it's possible that I can be thin? And you know you have to stop believing it, just saying to myself I can be thin. I would not believe it. At that time. I had all the evidence to say it's not possible. So starting to tell myself, hey, what if? What if it could be possible? Right, and trying to think of, okay, what are ways that it could possibly be that way. And then the other thing is gathering evidence. For me, initially, gathering evidence in myself was very difficult because again, all the evidence was pointing to the opposite in myself was very difficult because again, all the evidence was pointing to the opposite. So then, starting to gather the evidence from somebody who has done it you know, who has, who has achieved this result and what did they have to do to be able to get there, how did they have to think, how did they have to show up? And, although I don't necessarily know their exact journey, that process of thinking about it, that process of being creative, of coming up with ideas for myself and then trying to implement them, was helpful. But when you implement, the other aspect of that is to understand that when something doesn't work, it doesn't mean you're failing, it's just more evidence.

Speaker 2: 16:16

This particular thing doesn't work for me, it might have more evidence. This particular thing doesn't work for me. It might have worked for somebody else, it doesn't work for me, so I just move on. What's the next thing that I'm going to try? What else am I going to read and learn, and in my journey it really meant the entire approach. It meant assessing my physical health. It meant assessing my relationships with the people around me and how I was showing up for myself. It meant to look at my stories in my life and how is that impacting my behaviors, the things that I say, the things that I tell myself, the things I tell other people, as well as, of course, the nutrition and physical activity and all of that kind of stuff that goes with it.

Speaker 2: 16:57

So it's first thinking. Thinking, okay, it is possible, it could maybe someday be possible for me to achieve this goal, and then what are the things that somebody else had to have done to get there? And again, being creative in that process. You know, one of the other things that I'm working on right now is actually helping community people understand and achieve their potential through volunteerism, because volunteerism is one aspect where you know, sometimes you might think why do I have to do this? It's not in line with what I do.

Speaker 2: 17:32

You know, I just did a thing where we're making lunches for people who are underserved, and you know I'm a doctor, that's not my everyday job to do, but in this community, in the time that we spend. You meet other people, you talk to other people. You get exposed I had no idea what the statistics were in this area for food, insecure people. You get a different perspective of the world. And the reality is, if you read my story from the beginning, right when I was two to four years old, right, nobody, I couldn't have thought that this is where I'm going to be today. So it's important for us to think, hey, there is potentially a possibility. And how do I, how could I get there and have somebody that you emulate or a group of people that you emulate and can build that up and create that plan for yourself. And don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work. You're not a failure. What it means is that particular approach doesn't work for you. You need to just modify it and try the next thing.

Speaker 1: 18:41

That's really lovely. That's really lovely and also, like in your journey, you have transformed your relationship with your own story from struggling with weight to becoming a leader in the health and wellness. So from there, one advice, if you want to give to the listeners what that'll be.

Speaker 2: 19:03

I think that's a very loaded question and, to have it as one piece of advice, I think the biggest thing that overarches everything is keep an open mind. Think. The biggest thing that overarches everything is keep an open mind. Don't just stick with the narrative you've told yourself or that you hear. Challenge your beliefs, even those that you grow up with. Challenge your beliefs to not necessarily change them, but assess what about that belief actually serves you and what about that belief actually is detrimental to you. And keep what serves you, get rid of what doesn't.

Speaker 1: 19:48

Wow, that's lovely. That's really lovely. So this has been such an inspiring and thought provoking conversation and, from learning how our childhood stories shape us, discovering ways to rewrite the narratives that no longer serve as uh, that you have given us so much to reflect on. So, uh, so, all the listeners, if you're ready to take control of your story, I encourage you all to start small, maybe journal about a moment from your past that shaped you, or take a single step towards reframing how you see yourself, and remember that your story doesn't define you. You define your story. So, thank you so much for joining us on Pleasure Principles and if you have enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave us a review and share this with someone who might need to hear it. And until next time, remember that a healthy mind leads to a healthy life. So take care everyone. Thank you.