Unlocking Joy and Connection Through Mindful Communication and Shared Humanity - Mario Halim Wissa

Join me, Avik, as we unlock the secrets to more joyful and fulfilling communication with the help of Mario Halim Misa, a seasoned social communication expert. Mario takes us on a captivating journey from the bustling streets of Cairo to the high-paced world of corporate America, sharing invaluable insights from his nearly two decades of experience. We'll uncover the hidden power of mindful communication and the profound human connections that can enrich our everyday lives. Mario sheds light on common stumbling blocks that can hinder meaningful exchanges and offers strategies to foster better connections by tapping into our shared humanity.

Discover how the rapid rise of technology and digital platforms can sometimes blur the genuine connections we crave. By treating your mind as a 'temple,' you'll learn to cultivate mental space with intention, allowing for more mindful interactions. We share practical mindfulness practices like pausing before speaking and actively listening, empowering you to transform your communication and, ultimately, your life. Don't miss out on this transformative episode, and be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share with anyone who might benefit from enhanced communication. For more insights and to connect with Mario, explore the show notes.

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Chapters

• 0:01 Exploring Mindful Communication for Pleasure
• 11:08 Power of Mindful Communication and Technology
• 21:02 Transform Your Communication With Mindfulness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey everyone, welcome back to Pleasure Principles, the podcast where we explore the many facets of pleasure and how we cultivate it, experience it and sustain it in our daily lives. I'm your host, avik, and today we are diving deep into a topic that truly, truly shapes our experience of the pleasure, which is mindful communication, right? So let's be real, like, how often do we think about the communication beyond just the communication, beyond just sharing or exchanging the words, right, something that we I mean we do all the time, but are we really aware of how it influences our relationships or our joy and our overall experience of the life? Great, right, great to think about, right. So, to help us unpack this, I am joined by someone who has dedicated his life to understanding the nuances of the communication. Yes, I'm talking about Mario Halim Misa. So welcome to the show, mario.

Speaker 2: 1:21

Thank you so much for making this opportunity happen. And man, that was it's. It's a fact, it's factual and it also overwhelming when you remind me of that, that's actually really true that I am dedicating my life to this passion of mine. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for saying that. It really touched my heart it's so true no, nothing, so page.

Speaker 1: 1:43

So, mario, I'd quickly love to introduce you to all of our listeners Though listeners, you have already listened to him, but still I'd love to explain about him. So Mario is a social communication expert with an incredible journey that has taken him from the vibrant energy of Cairo to the structured world of corporate America, the military and the diverse cultures of Asia. So he has spent 17 years studying the communication across various contexts, written three books on the subject and helped countless individuals and the organizations transform the way they connect with everyone or others. Yeah, so why to wait? Let's get started.

Speaker 2: 2:34

Welcome to the show again, mario. Absolutely, I'm super stoked to be here. I'm standing up, I'm not even sitting down. I'm super excited. That's how excited I am. I love it.

Speaker 1: 2:48

Wait sitting down. I'm super excited. That's how excited I am. I love it. Wait. So mayu like, uh, I mean you have studied the communication across different cultures, so what's the one surprising thing that you have learned about how people connect in different parts of the world? I mean, if I can share a bit, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 3:07

So, to get to the point and to your question, I have to say something now that I just realized. You've mentioned that I've been doing my own research and study for 17 years. I have been saying this for like two years, so it's more than 17 years now. I've been saying 17 years for the last two years Time, going everywhere, so yeah, it's almost two decades now, which is actually really humbling to think about.

Speaker 2: 3:36

So, one of the biggest observations that I've really noticed there's so many, honestly, but for the sake of this conversation we'll try and be as concise as I can be that oftentimes, when we are not fully aware of how we communicate and what we are communicating, sometimes we forget that we are dealing, connecting and communicating with other human beings. We actually forget our humanity, we forget the connection that one human to another. Sometimes we make it about the message, about the intention, the purpose, the goal, what we are trying to achieve, what message we're trying to convey or what we're trying to persuade other people to believe about us or our thoughts, and we do not remember that often that we are just dealing with another human being who have their own experiences in life, who grew up in an environment that they did not choose and a lot of their subconscious programming, which turns into responses and reactions actually not up to them. It was programmed within them. Hence I believe that the combination of communication and compassion are very, very powerful, not just about the message or what we are trying to convey, but also become more aware of the receiver, that just another human being. They're doing their best they can, we're doing the best that we can.

Speaker 2: 5:14

So, being aware that there is part beside people say there's a verbal and nonverbal communication style and communication cues there is also invisible, a bond of communication that happens between us as one human to another. A great example of that, because I had the great privilege of traveling Asia and teaching actually monks English Buddhist monks, hindu monks, thai monks even being together in a room and just being quiet, two or three people or even more, you're actually communicating your own existence, just by existing. You are communicating that I am here, I exist, and that is a very important place to start from how we communicate and connect with other people, just to be aware of our own humanity and be mindful of other people, humans. They're doing their best as well. This really brings a very healthy layer of interaction between people. It's not just about the words or the message. These are important. Underneath it all, the bond and connection is one human to another, and that's very crucial. The bond and connection is one human to another, and that's very crucial.

Speaker 1: 6:26

That's amazing, I have to say. And also, like when we're talking about I mean, I mean that really makes you think about how much the background shapes not only how we communicate, but kind of um, how we experience a joy in our impression. So that's, that's really, really awesome and thank you yeah, and then also like uh, communication is definitely crucial in creating the pleasurable life experience, but, uh, what, according to you, are some of the common communication mistakes? That that that block people from experiencing that joy in their relationships?

Speaker 2: 7:14

um, I am, as you're asking me this question, I'm like standing one foot or the other. I'm like super excited. God, I cannot believe we only have a few minutes together. We need our next podcast to be one hour. Okay, so to be really to be fully aware of a very important type of communication that, from my research, I realized many people not aware of. We might have talked about this, but I'm going to go and cover this really quick for the sake of this conversation and the future listeners.

Speaker 2: 7:43

The most popular type of communication is interpersonal communication, what you and I are having right now. Also. Another type of communication is group communication three or more people and that breaks down into organizational communication, strategic communication, hierarchy and goes on and on. Another type is intrapersonal communication. So the first one I said interpersonal communication I-N-T-E-R, interpersonal 101. Intrapersonal I-N-T-R-A, that is, communication with ourselves. Honestly, the percentage it blows me away. Over 30% of people actually have intrapersonal communication. So the first one I said intrapersonal communication.

Speaker 2: 8:24

Are not aware of their inner dialogue.

Speaker 2: 8:28

Well, if you're not aware of your inner dialogue, that means it's happening subconsciously and not being aware of it, and it can make you happy or it can make you miserable.

Speaker 2: 8:38

It can motivate you or it can put you down. So, when we become aware of this voice and we harness it and we take I don't want to say like control it, but manage it and train it intentionally, this inner voice can bring us so much joy and pleasure in life when we become aware of it and cultivate it intentionally. Because when we have the ability to make ourself feel happy, content, joyful, enjoying life, feeling pleasure in life, whatever comes from the outside, from other relationships, that brings this happiness or pleasure or joy, that becomes additional to what we have to offer ourselves. Hence, when we think about doing something fun or entertaining in life, or doing something that we enjoy that will bring us joy and pleasure, oftentimes we think about who I'm going to hang out with, what I'm going to do with whom, when where when is the next meeting or meetup or we're going to have a coffee or go watch a movie together or with someone else else.

Speaker 2: 9:53

Being able that we can do this with our own self, whether someone around or not, is very powerful, because that means we are aware of our own inner buttons and switches, that we can use specific language and words to cultivate feeling within us and we don't have to like, wait or anticipate something that would trigger us from the outside to feel happy or content or joyful. So basically, we need to be aware that we can be in the driver's seat of our own emotions for ourselves. Not what she said made me sad, or what he did made me feel miserable, or what they did or they said ruined my day. Nah, that's not very responsible, not very accountable for our own existence, our own beings. I am responsible for how I think, how I feel and how I react. Being in the driver's seat, that's what it feels like. If we are not in the driver's seat, we are in the passenger seat of our intro personal dialogue. I know it's hard to say, but honestly we become slave for the outside interactions and how the outside can impact the inside so much.

Speaker 2: 11:08

There is a reason why we call the top of our cranium, our head, our mind. We call it temple Temple. Isn't that funny? The two sides by our eyes we call it temple. Like, this is our temple. We need to maintain it intentionally. Not just anyone can come in our temple and just dump anything and just make a mess or take things away. I need to be responsible for the gift the universe gave us this body, this temple in our head, in our own mind and be accountable for that. So that's very, very important.

Speaker 1: 11:49

That's amazing, and I mean you, you, you really said correctly, we need one hour definitely for for the discussion, definitely so. So also, like, uh, quickly, like in, in kind, of today's digital world. Do you think that technology is enhancing or maybe damaging our ability to communicate? Mindfully, why I am saying this? Because, um, you know right, I shouldn't be taking the names but, um, because we are mostly into the technology-based world right now and we are mostly habituated with you. Remember, like when we had earlier the keypad phones, we used to type a lot, then we upgraded to the touchpads and then we started writing the messages. Then we started with WhatsApp and all those things. Now, what is happening because of ai, uh has in the picture, we just give the prompt and it will give you the whole exact message. Or maybe we are using our voice message. Somehow our writing communication is going uh, I mean uh, going out, or flash out, I mean. So what do you think?

Speaker 2: 13:13

I mean yeah uh, this actually, frankly, has been uh, a really uh popular question and topic in my latest podcast that I go on as a host, and this, this is more crucial than I can bring up. It's true because with AI and technology, I mean what 20, 25 years ago, we only have access to internet or technology once we get home and use the computer. Now it's 24-7 on us, and that brings up something very important that I have realized from my research, and as I'm sharing this, I'm actually sharing it with a little heavy heart and it will make sense in a minute why. A few minutes ago, I talked about intro, personal communication, how we converse with ourselves.

Speaker 2: 14:04

Now, imagine someone sitting in their own bedroom and the phone is in their hand and, let's say, they're on like TikTok, youtube or Instagram, facebook, whatever, and they're just scrolling and they find something that made them upset, they comment or they say something not healthy, or they have unhealthy criticism of what they have experienced. Well, guess what? They have unhealthy criticism of what they have experienced. Well, guess what? A person who posted those things online a few weeks ago or a few months ago and we just comment on it now or react to it now, or respond or block or whatever reaction to it. This is actually about ourselves, not the post, not the person, not the message. It basically triggered something within us and because some of us, not aware of our inner world and responses and reaction, we think that we are responding to the other person's behavior. No, we are actually responding to what's happening within us and this is very, very crucial. So that's why I say with a heavy heart, because if we make a mean comment or have unhealthy thought or negative thought and no one else is around, this is happening only with us. So, being aware of that and how we are going with technology, it actually creates this opportunity where human connection in person, face to face, it becomes a whole lot more valuable. It becomes a whole lot more valuable.

Speaker 2: 15:51

So from my research, I found out that more than 60% of people who leave mean comments online or they say things that are not healthy or not helpful or something negative, more than 60% of these people would never, ever say those things or make these comments in person to the person's face. Wow, yeah, people like when they make a nasty comment or bad comment online, this is actually about themselves. It's not about the person who produced that material or posted something online few days ago or few or even a year ago. The person is dead, posted something and died already. Yet the person who exposed to that information they have reaction from the inside and this reaction is actually about ourselves.

Speaker 2: 16:40

And once we find out that things are not happening to us, they're actually happening for us we start to take responsibility and if we see something online that maybe doesn't make us feel good or we want to respond in a mean or hateful way, I highly encourage you to pause and think why do I feel this way? Why am I reacting this way? Because it's very crucial to be aware of our inner dialogue. So with technology, in a way, because you can post something and it gets seen the same day or maybe 10 years down the road it kind of dilutes a little bit the interpersonal part of our communication and it makes this genuine connection face-to-face a lot more valuable. So we need to be aware of what comes up for us when we are alone. That's very crucial.

Speaker 1: 17:44

Understood. That's lovely, yeah, great. So um, and also like um. If you could leave our listeners with one key message about the communication and the pleasure, what would it be?

Speaker 2: 17:58

one more time.

Speaker 1: 17:58

What was communication pleasure, sorry yeah, so I mean any one message that you would love to share with the listeners.

Speaker 2: 18:07

Oh, about the connection between communication and pleasure, right, I guess? Yes, okay, yes, check this out Whoever's listening to this. I would like for you to do this simple practice and to show you the immediate impact and results of intentionally creating a state of mind and what we tell ourselves. Try and look in the mirror. Go in the bathroom and look in the mirror and try to tell mean things to yourself, like, oh, you're nothing, you didn't do much enough today. You responded a week ago, not in a healthy way. You do your best. Your best is not enough. Just act it. Just act it out and see how that feels.

Speaker 2: 18:51

After that, take two-minute break, literally set a timer. Say Siri, set a timer for two minutes and come back two minutes later, two minutes later, and look in the same mirror and act and say positive things your way. Say positive things to yourself where you're like I'm doing my best, my best will get better with time. I forgive my past self and every human being around me is doing his and her best and together, collectively, we will help ourselves to grow and achieve our happiness and the content feeling that we are are pursuing. Say something nice and feel the difference between speaking the first style, which is like negative, unhealthy way. And the second option, where you say something lovely and beautiful and encouraging to yourself. Just saying those things will cultivate these emotions and feelings.

Speaker 2: 19:51

Honestly, I, whether you believe it or not, just do it. It does not matter. Take put believing to the side. I'm just showing you a hint of this is obviously for our amazing future listeners. This is a is a style or a step for biohacking. We can actually self-program. When we become aware of that, we also become fully aware of the influence that we have on the outside. That means please guard the gate to your tempo, your body and your mind. You can do that by creating words intentionally. Thank you, exactly.

Speaker 1: 20:36

That's really lovely and I have to say, I really love having our discussion today, and you have given us so much to think about when it comes to how we communicate, not just with others but with ourselves. Yeah, thank you so much for sharing your insights, experience and wisdom with us today and for those who are listening. What's the one way that you can be more mindful in your communication today? Maybe it's pausing before you speak, truly listening, or maybe even being kinder to yourself. So, whatever it is, I challenge all of you to put it into a practice and see how it transforms your interactions and your pleasure in life. So if you have enjoyed today's episode, make sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who could use a little more mindful communication in their life, and also you can connect with Mario for more resources. I'll share all the links into the show notes for your easy reference. And until next time, keep communicating with intention and embracing the pleasure of the connection. So see you in the next episode of pleasure principles. Thank you so much. Bye.