Breaking the Silence: Conquering Bladder Leaks Naturally - Dr. Nigel Brayer

Are you planning your outings around bathroom locations? Do you avoid certain activities for fear of leakage? You're not alone—but you don't have to accept bladder issues as your new normal.

In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Nigel Brayer, developer of the Ironclad Bladder system, dismantles the pervasive myth that urinary incontinence is simply the price women pay for childbirth or aging. With clarity and compassion, he reveals why distinguishing between what's "common" and what's "normal" can transform your approach to bladder health.

The discussion ventures beyond the standard advice about pelvic floor exercises to explore the fascinating neurological component behind bladder control. Dr. Brayer explains that while Kegels might strengthen the 30% of your sphincter under conscious control, the remaining 70% depends on your autonomic nervous system—the delicate balance between stress response and relaxation that most modern women struggle to maintain.

Through relatable analogies and straightforward explanations, you'll understand how chronic stress creates a perpetually clenched system that eventually loses its ability to function properly. More importantly, you'll discover practical, non-invasive techniques to reset this system, beginning with simple daily mindfulness practices that can gradually restore normal function.

What makes this episode particularly powerful is Dr. Brayer's insight into the profound shame many women feel about incontinence. By connecting this shame to our earliest childhood achievements and self-worth, he offers a path to addressing the emotional burden alongside the physical symptoms.

Whether you're experiencing occasional leaks or frequent urgency, this conversation provides hope through understanding. Dr. Brayer's approach honors the body's innate wisdom and healing capacity while acknowledging when more intensive inter

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Urinary Incontinence
• 4:40 Myths and Misconceptions About Bladder Health
• 10:20 The Brain-Bladder Connection Explained
• 14:50 Sympathetic Dominance and Bladder Function
• 17:22 Mindfulness as a Proactive Solution
• 21:03 Overcoming Shame and Self-Worth Issues
• 24:28 Natural Healing vs. Medical Interventions
• 25:36 Closing and Ironclad Bladder Resources

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome back listeners to the Pleasure Principles podcast, where we break the silence around taboo health topics and help you live a more vibrant, confident life.

Speaker 1: 0:18

Now, today, we are diving into a subject that doesn't get nearly enough attention, even though it affects millions of women unary continence, incontinence, and, yes, we are talking about bladder leaks, frequent bathroom trips and the underlying fear of laughing, sneezing or even just standing up too quickly. But what if I told you that you don't have to accept bladder issues as a part of aging or motherhood? What if there was a way to reclaim control naturally? And to help me answer these questions, joining me today is Dr Nigel Brayer, a chiropractor, acupuncturist and expert in natural medicine, who developed the iron clad bladder system, a drug-free, non-invasive approach that restores bladder function by reconnecting the brain and the bladder. His work has helped countless women regain confidence and live without fear of leaks. So if you have ever found yourself mapping out the nearest restroom before leaving the house, this conversation is definitely for you. So, dr Nigel, welcome to the show, and it's an absolute pleasure having you with us.

Speaker 2: 1:36

Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I look forward to our conversation.

Speaker 1: 1:42

Absolutely so, dr Breyer. Let's start with the big picture. So many women just assume that urinary incontinence is something they have to live with after childbirth or they get older. I mean, I have observed many situations with my mother and some of the older women you know I mean in my known who are known to me, facing these issues, especially during travel or longer trips. So why do you think this issue is so overlooked and what's the biggest myth you would like to bust right now?

Speaker 2: 2:22

Sure, a couple of things we want to discuss. First is, the biggest myth is this is not something that's it's extremely common but it's not normal. And that's something that a lot of ladies really want to wrap their head around is because something happens often doesn't mean it's automatically normal. Our body is designed to function efficiently and to work all that systems for really as long as we need it. It's just accumulation of several factors, which we'll talk about today, start to impact that, and so a good example is a lot of ladies talk to their girlfriends and they all share the same sentiment and of course, that sentiment is oh well, that's just part of what the new normal is, but that's really untrue.

Speaker 2: 3:14

So the key is is if we understand how our anatomy works and then start taking some steps to restore it, most symptoms and this goes for the majority of conditions not all, but the majority is most symptoms are an ending of several accumulating variables. So for most people hearing that that might sound a little confusing, but my hope is that they are inspired by that is, if you understand these variables that accumulate, then it allows you to be able to take little steps to undo it and then regain that function again. So I guess the biggest myth is this is not a normal process, even though doctors might say, oh, everybody gets that after they have children or as they age, or they go through perimenopause and menopause, but that's really not the case. So I encourage people don't accept it, because acceptance is complacency and then when we're complacent, we just we work around it instead of working towards the resolution.

Speaker 1: 4:18

That's a very, very important point. Instead of working around it, let's just start working towards the solution. Great, great Thank you. Thank you for sharing that, dr Brer, and I think it's not just about pelvic floor strength. Of course. There is a deeper neurological component at play, so you focus on that. There is definitely a connection between brain and bladder. There's a disconnect between brain and bladder, due to which maybe traditional treatments like Kegels, they don't work. So what's your view on this?

Speaker 2: 5:00

Sure. So what kind of led me to this discovery? Is every woman who've had this issue somewhere along the line she's been said hey, your pelvic floor is either too weak or too tight. So common sense would say we need to strengthen it, and that's valid. However, it only truly helps a small percentage of women. So that begs the question. If it's just too tight meaning I had pelvic floor therapy and they released adhesions and those types of things from scarring or childbirth or trauma or whatever it might be or I've strengthened the sphincter, which is the valve around the ureter, or, excuse me, the urethra, so I should have resolved that issue, excuse me, the erythra, so I should have resolved that issue. But when you look deeper and you look at the valve, and this is kind of where my program was developed, it's not because I really wanted to figure this out, it's mostly because it happened earlier, because my wife was experiencing the same issue.

Speaker 2: 5:58

She went through the stigma where she didn't even share it with me. It was a very long time before I was even aware of there was a problem, because she simply started avoiding things. I'm like, why do you avoid things that we've always done before, physically exercise, et cetera. So, as she shared her personal story, after our last child who's seven years ago, I started researching, saying, okay, well, let's just do some pelvic floor stretching. And I referred her to a physical therapist. Do some pelvic floor therapy work. It really didn't help at all. And so once I started looking into the anatomy, so I started digging deep and saying, well, why isn't this resolving her issue? Looking into the anatomy, so I started digging deep and saying, well, why isn't this resolving her issue? And so as I looked into the anatomy and most importantly the neuroanatomy is, I was looking into what's called the innervation, which is the nerve supply to the sphincter.

Speaker 2: 6:52

So, as I mentioned before, is the bladder's a balloon, essentially that holds urine Most people would know that and then the urethra coming out is mostly like a straw, so that's the straw to the outside of the body. In men they have two valves. They have one right where the straw meets the balloon it's called the internal sphincter and then they have another right where the straw exits to the outside of our body. That's the external sphincter. But ladies only had one, and that one is about a little under an inch, so about two and a half centimeters long, but over 70% of that valve, that sphincter, is controlled by you consciously. That means when you do a Kegel you can control 30% of its function. Well, that begs the question. Well, what's controlling the other 70%? And that's the autonomic nervous system. And now it's dependent on a whole myriad of different factors.

Speaker 2: 8:07

And so this comes into some anatomy or some urology type discussion. Is that autonomic nervous system is exclusively controlled between the balance of what's called the sympathetic, that's the fight-flight part of the nervous system, and the parasympathetic, which is the rest-relaxing-heal component. So the balance between those two fight-flights-heal-restore has the general tone of that bowel. So tone meaning is it mostly closed, is it mostly open?

Speaker 2: 8:42

And a lot of mothers and ladies as they age, and just modern culture is highly stress induced and so as a culture, most people are what's called sympathetic dominant.

Speaker 2: 8:56

So that means their body's in this constant fight or flight stage, and it's not just the heart, it's not just the blood vessels which cause things like heart disease and all those other issues that we deal with, but it's also our bladder is in sympathetic dominance. So the analogy I like to think of it is imagine that your fist is so tight all the time that you have a really tight fist and then all of a sudden you want to tighten it even more. What happens is muscles and tissues, they have a breaking point, so then they start to quiver. And when that quivering happens, well, imagine now a straw is going through your fist and you have to hold the flow of fluid out of that straw and your fist has been so tight and then it quivers and of course that means leakage is going to happen. So the key becomes to make a long story short is to start to retrain and reset the sympathetic, parasympathetic, nervous system. Otherwise there's really very little hope of that valve and the bladder itself functioning properly. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 10:00

Absolutely, absolutely. I think you explained it with a very simple real-world example that how exactly you know, unconsciously or subconsciously you know, it's not under control or it's under control. So I think you know, uh, it's really powerful. And this much of detail, uh, you know, I'm really very uh inspired to see how your personal experience it led to this incredible work. I think, in fact, I was completely not aware about anything around this and I think this should this should go wide and wide, and women especially. They should definitely be aware about, irrespective of their age. And, and also, Dr Nigel, stress and emotions, as you mentioned, not only related to heart or anything. It can play definitely a huge role in overall health and stress can actually trigger incontinence or relapses. So how exactly you know, how can women, or what women can do to manage that stress bladder connection.

Speaker 2: 11:17

That's a perfect question. Actually, it reminds me of a discussion I had with a lady yesterday or maybe the day before. She said, hey, I don't have incontinence. She was in her late 40s, she had never had children. She goes what can I do? Just proactively? And I said, well, that's interestingly enough. Is there's much you can do proactively? Because, let's be honest, 70% of women by the time they're in their middle 50s, are going to have incontinence.

Speaker 2: 11:44

So the first step I encourage people to do is just start some sort of daily mindfulness meditation practice. And people say well, what does that have to do with my bladder? And the answer is well, it has to do with your entire body and your bladder is just I call it the million dollar problem, excuse me, is the bladder. When it stops working, it consumes your life. Because just imagine how your life's affected if you can't hold your bladder, whether it be purchasing pads, whether it be trying to find where bathrooms are, whether it be making meetings short, whatever it might be. So, preemptively, if we start doing a regular mindfulness practice of some sort, it could be a religious practice, it could be a non-religious practice, it could be a breathing practice. The whole purpose of that is to start giving your subconscious, unconscious mind the opportunity to just let go and relax. And so a lot of people that might sound confusing and saying, oh, I've heard a meditation and I don't believe in it or this, and put all that aside. It's a matter of spending five to seven to 10 minutes every day just breathing air in the nose, air out the mouth. And what happens when we start focusing on one thing at a time, you'll notice that your body let's think of that tight fist again is if that fist is super tight and you're holding it with all of your might and then you just slowly breathe and relax and take all the focus off the tight fist and just to that moment, over time, without even trying, it's going to start to release and relax. So that happens between your ears, of course, your mind, but it also happens in your body. So that alone starts to. It's called reset, the sympathetic, parasympathetic balance, without trying.

Speaker 2: 13:41

So a lot of people then also say, well, I can't stop my mind from thinking. And the answer is well, you don't have to stop, because what you resist persists. So if you try to stop thinking, you're just going to think more and you're going to get frustrated. So the objective is not to stop thinking. The objective is to breathe, and so that alone, over time and that's the big key is doing a little bit daily helps start to reduce that sympathetic dominance and you'll notice that the tension in your neck and shoulders will start to lessen. But what's really important is the tension elsewhere that you're holding in the bladder, in the stomach, in the blood vessels. All that tension will start over time to let go. So it's going to help your bladder, it's going to help your heart, it's going to help your relationships, it's going to help your tension. So that's the first step. Now, that's not a key part of our ironclad bladder, it's a little tiny piece of it. But that's the first step people can do to start reducing how incredibly sympathetically tight they are.

Speaker 1: 14:49

So is it more like diverting your attention, or your brain's attention, from the bladder control or the bladder system, or is it just calming down the nerves? Yeah, it's. It's just, you know, calming down the nerves yeah, yeah, it's calming down.

Speaker 2: 15:05

So we got to remember the body's. Like anything else else in nature is if, if we're constantly wound up mentally and it doesn't have to look externally. We've all met people who are externally wound up. They're just antsy and edgy and they seem tense and maybe their brow is furrowed. I'm not talking about that, even though that's an example of it. A lot of people hold internal tension and they may never show it, but their body's responding to it.

Speaker 2: 15:34

So many years ago I wrote a book called the Stress Effect and it talks about all the different effectors, how stress affects all of our different systems and, whether you show it or not, internally your cells and your body know what's going on. They respond to what the background is, not so much what you show on the outside. And so back to the bladder is the bladder's also responding to that? And now let's talk about what we said at the very beginning is we have many little factors that build up to create a symptom. This is one of the big factors. It's not the main factor, but it's certainly a big one. And so the buildup is if we can start to change the overall I'll call environment inside of your body via your mind. That's going to start to relax the whole overall environment and that's a really good first step for everybody, but especially folks you know have a bladder issue and coming back to your personal experience.

Speaker 1: 16:46

I mean you mentioned that for a certain period of time your wife didn't share about, you know, urinary incontinence and I think there's still so much shame around this many women they don't even talk to their doctors about it, and let alone their partners or their family members or anyone. So how Can we change this conversation so that women feel empowered rather than embarrassed?

Speaker 2: 17:13

I love that question simply because before we get to it, we have to look back to what the ability to hold our bladder means. So just think about it personally and I like to do this and maybe you want to do the same is what was our almost very first milestone as a human being. Walking was one, but then the second was when you're able to potty train right, when you're able to not wear diapers or nappies or whatever they're called. So I've been reflecting on this over the years and I said well, why do people have so much stigma and so much embarrassment about this? And I think it's because it's so tied deeply to our self-worth as a human being. And so the guilt and even though, being in this field, there's no judgment on my behalf, but for the person experiencing it there's enormous self-judgment, and I've come to believe personally that it's because that we've had so much of our worth as an individual tied to it that started from as early as what? Two years old, so a lot of people. Again, this has a lot to do with unconscious emotional traumas or whatever it might be, but the thought goes like this I can't even hold my bladder. That a two-year-old can. And this is all unconscious, of course. Therefore, my self-worth is at stake and of course we're all trying to protect our self-worth, right. So I have a feeling is the stigma comes from that. But I encourage people to kind of, as an adult, reason through it and say, okay, my self bladder is not working, but my worth as a human being is not at stake here. And just asking that question to yourself opens the door to say it's a physiological challenge. It means my body's not working for several different reasons. Bring the logic into it instead of the emotion of what's the past, then we can reason through and take the steps. You know what's the past, then we can reason through and take the steps.

Speaker 2: 19:36

But asking the question is kind of the first trigger, and most people don't answer or ask themselves that question. They just feel it like, oh, what's wrong with me? A two-year-old can hold their bladder and I can't. And I see that with physical challenges too is people who have physical issues, because one of the very first things of growing up was you learn how to walk right. So oh my gosh, I can't walk, I'm not a valuable human being, and so I think that's where a lot of the pain and emotional suffering comes from, and whether we agree with it or not is the first step would be is to simply acknowledge.

Speaker 2: 20:07

And once we acknowledge it, then we can say, okay, I don't like it, my value as an individual is not compromised. Now I can take some steps to improve, because we all want to avoid emotional pain I do. But once we bring it to the surface and look at it, then as adults we can reason through and say, hey, I'm a good person, this has nothing to do with my worth. Now let's go ahead and take some steps to help it out.

Speaker 1: 20:38

Wow, wow, that's incredible, dr Bray. Now let's talk with a little pushback to this conversation with opposing views on this issue of urinary incontinence. You know that some experts would say argue that this is best treated with surgery or pharmaceuticals rather than alternative medicine. So how do you respond to skeptics who say your approach isn't scientific enough?

Speaker 2: 21:08

Sure. So I'm a practical person and in practice I've had less. I'm trying to think of a simple way to put this the proof is in the pudding. I guess we should say so that would be a saying is do it, see what happens and you're going to get better, versus I have to research and do all these things, but then I'm going to do it. So I like to make it practical is, if something's not going to work, it's going to show up pretty darn quickly.

Speaker 2: 21:41

But then it's a matter of risk is I'm not against any sort of medication or surgery as a last resort, but I'm also a big believer in the body has a greater wisdom than I do as an individual. So you know, humanity has been around for heaven eternity. So in my arrogance I can't say that Nigel's 51 years of being alive. I have some greater wisdom than nature does. So nature's design is to heal. The issue is we put these barriers in place that prevent that. So when I think about medication, is medication is man's best effort to manipulate nature for some purpose and that has value too. But nature, in my opinion, has greater wisdom than man in his last 200 years of scientific research. So if we can support the system and remove the barriers. The body's capacity to heal is pretty amazing. Now, sometimes the capacity to heal has gone too far and you need some more aggressive interventions.

Speaker 2: 22:55

But it's really about risk. Also is do I want to put a chemical into my body? And drugs are essentially chemicals that have some effect, and chemicals have to be processed. So if we think about what we talked about is everything builds up in our body Oxygen's build up in our body, exposure to things, foods they're all accumulating. There's things that heal us and support and there's things that hurt us, and then there's things that are somewhere in the middle.

Speaker 2: 23:23

Well, medication, as value as it needs can be, sometimes is it's putting a chemical in that our body has to deal with. So sometimes we're adding more stressors which challenge our body more. So I always like to say simple and easy first, and then you just logically start taking steps that are more challenging and maybe more risky, and sometimes they're necessary, but most of the time they're not. So that would kind of be my main answer to any objection that the answers in the drug or the surgery, my opinion, is the answers in the body. We just have to remove those barriers and then it's going to percolate, and if it doesn't, well then we can always look further down the road.

Speaker 1: 24:08

That's a fair point. That's really a fair point, dr Nigel. So, before we wrap up, if our listeners would wish to explore more about the iron clad bladder and also if they wish to connect with you, how they can do that, and they can just go to my website, drnigelbrayerI-G-E-L, Brayer, B-R-A-Y-E-Rcom.

Speaker 2: 24:32

And we're going to be having on April 17th. We're going to be having a free mini course on the ironclad bladder system. Folks can sign up there to learn more. We'll delve deep into some of the hormone-based issues menopause, perimenopause. We'll be giving people practical things that they can start right away at home. So, yeah, check it out. There's a lot of great information on there. There's different food options that'll help your bladder, so yeah. I encourage them to look at it and learn some information.

Speaker 1: 25:03

Lovely. We'll have all the details in the show notes and, dr Breer, thank you. Thank you so much, first of all, for breaking the silence around this issue and giving women the real hope they deserve. So I think this has been such an enlightening and very fundamental conversation on urinary incontinence and we also got a little bit of glimpse around the iron clad bladder system. But, of course, for our listeners, I'll have all the links mentioned in the show notes for them to check out your resources. And thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 25:41

Thank you, my pleasure.

Speaker 1: 25:45

And to all of our listeners. I hope today's episode has left you feeling informed, empowered and maybe even a little relieved. If you loved this conversation, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with a friend or your family or your loved ones or a colleague, whoever needs to hear it. Until next time, keep prioritizing your pleasure, your health and your power. See you soon.