Healing After Heartbreak: The Ramoni Method - Pamela Williams

Transforming pain into purpose isn't just a catchy phrase—it's the living embodiment of Pamela Williams' journey and the foundation of her revolutionary Ramoni Method. As an emotional intelligence coach, metaphysical practitioner, and psychology PhD candidate, Pamela brings a rare blend of scientific understanding and spiritual wisdom to the conversation about healing.

After experiencing abandonment during pregnancy, Pamela discovered that spirituality served as her North Star, providing direction when everything else seemed hopeless. This experience became the catalyst for developing the Ramoni Method, which bridges emotional wounds with their physical manifestations in the body. "We are emotional beings that think," she explains, highlighting how our suppressed feelings don't simply disappear—they settle into our physical bodies through our energy centers, creating symptoms that signal unaddressed emotional work.

The conversation takes us deep into understanding how jealousy might manifest as sinus issues, how workplace toxicity often stems from leadership's unresolved emotional patterns, and why accepting current circumstances isn't surrender but the first step toward meaningful change. Pamela introduces us to her practical 4R technique—Retreat, Reflect, Replenish, Return—for managing difficult interactions, and shares her fascinating perspective on the three types of people: "bombers" who disrupt, "the lost" who seek guidance, and "light workers" who help others find their way.

Whether you're navigating heartbreak, workplace challenges, or simply seeking to understand the profound connection between your emotions and physical wellbeing, this episode offers both compassionate understanding and actionable wisdom. Remember, as Pamela so beautifully puts it: you're not broken—you're becoming. Explore her book "How Do I Find Love After Heartbreak?" and discover more abou

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Pamela Williams
• 2:53 Trusting Yourself After Heartbreak
• 6:03 Heartbreak as a Mirror for Growth
• 8:24 The Ramoni Method Explained
• 12:48 Managing Toxic Workplace Relationships
• 17:38 Navigating Life's Cycles and Final Advice
• 24:21 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Hey, beautiful souls, welcome back to another episode of Pleasure Principles, the podcast where we strip down the layers of what pleasure really means. So we talk about self-worth, connection, intimacy and all the juicy things, unspoken truths, that shape our inner and the outer worlds. I'm your host, avik, and today's episode is going to stir something deep within you, because today we are not just talking about healing, we are talking about embodied healing. My guest today is someone who has turned her pain into purpose and her purpose into the power Pamela Williams. So welcome to the show, pamela.

Speaker 2: 0:52

Thank you. Thank you for having me Abik Pleasure to be here.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Lovely. So, pamela, before we start, I'll quickly introduce you to all the listeners. Dear listeners, pamela is an emotional intelligence coach, a metaphysical practitioner, the author of the powerful book like how Do I Find Love After Heartbreak, and the creator of the scientifically recognized Ramoni Method, a practice that bridges emotional wounds with physical symptoms in the body. So, from her work with the troubled teens and the child protective services to helping executives navigate toxic relationships, she has witnessed firsthand how trauma echoes through our lives and, more importantly, how we can transform it. So her story is raw, radiant and real. So she rebuilt her life as a single mom after abandonment during the pregnancy, and now she's pursuing a phd in psychology, so diving deep into how the mind, body and the soul function together to heal. So yeah, all I mean she is a part of the Christ-centered wisdom and part crystal healing mystic, part Liverpool FC fanatic, and all hard.

Speaker 1: 2:20

So so, listeners, I'll not take much of your time, so I'll quickly invite again to the show.

Speaker 2: 2:33

Welcome to the show again, pamela. Thank you abic, thank you for having me and hello everybody lovely, lovely.

Speaker 1: 2:39

So, pamela, like your journey is layered and profound. I mean from, as I was mentioning, like from abandonment to the purpose. So how did you begin to trust yourself again in the middle of the heartbreak?

Speaker 2: 2:53

that's a fantastic question, avik. Yeah, it's difficult to bounce back from emotional pain, right, because we feel it so deeply. And for me, what it took and I genuinely believe this spirituality is as important to the healing journey as breathing, because, as you're experiencing and going through pain, there is like a part of you that wants to stop the pain. Right, we've got the pleasure principle pleasure seeking principle, sorry and an aversion to pain, right. So we always want to chase something that feels good and be averted to what doesn't feel good.

Speaker 2: 3:37

And what kept me going, moving through the cycle to build resilience, was my faith in something beyond. That was what kept me going, and so I was able to kind of do the deep dive in work that I needed to do in order to heal. If you believe that there is something to strive for, something to go towards, you're more likely to keep going. What keeps us stuck in pain is the fact that you maybe cannot see a way out of it, right, hopelessness. But when, when you see hope and to me, faith and spirituality is that was the beacon for me that kept my north star and kept me moving forward and how I was then able to do the work needed. That's part of the Ramoni method.

Speaker 2: 4:29

The foundation is support, leaning on support, and then the next layer is acknowledging the doubts that you have in your own mind and then going from there as to what are those doubts like? Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this? And then the emotions that come with that right Abandonment. So, for me, what I examined, I took control over what I could, and that was the fact that I made the choice to go out with this person in the first place Understood, you know. So what I would say is you have to take control of the things that you can, which was for me in my story that I made the decision to go out with somebody who didn't treat me right, and I knew, by taking that part of my story and owning, that, I was less likely to make that mistake again. And I didn't make that mistake again. So that was the first step in moving forward, bouncing back from a core wound of abandonment.

Speaker 1: 5:37

Exactly. No, I agree, I totally agree.

Speaker 2: 6:03

So okay, now the thing is do you think that the heartbreak can show up as a mirror? People show up as mirrors and that mirror is showing you the work that you maybe need to do in yourself. You know it was. I didn't, I wasn't as secure in myself, and this person showed up to help me work on my own insecurities. So when we go through a heartbreak, yes, it's devastating at the time, but it's more so for a change, and I don't believe that any change is bad. All changes that occur are either for personal development or spiritual growth, spiritual enlightenment, and when you're able to cognitively shift your mindset to see things that way and adversity becomes more of something that you can take action and then move forward by visualizing a better outcome for yourself, right, trusting the process. These are all parts of the Ramoni method that I developed because of my experience of dealing with adversity and being able to maintain resilience. So heartbreak is fundamental to building our character and developing, I feel, spiritually absolutely and that resonates deeply, I think.

Speaker 1: 7:40

I think so many people are walking around looking that hole but inside they are kind of still getting that first heartbreak that told them they weren't enough.

Speaker 2: 7:55

Right.

Speaker 1: 7:56

Exactly so. Your perspective flips the script and it invites power into the brain, for sure.

Speaker 2: 8:04

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1: 8:06

Exactly it. It invites power into the brain, for sure, yeah, exactly, exactly yeah. And the ramoni method is, is such a kind of unique approach. I would say so if you can break down like how emotional wound wounds translate into their physical symptoms.

Speaker 2: 8:24

Sure, absolutely Well, I believe that we are emotional beings that think right and in real time you'll see this emotions ending up affecting the body through stress. So, denise, stress is something that anything that dysregulates the, the nervous system right to act and going to fight, flight, freeze or fawn right, and once that occurs, it sets off adrenaline, adrenaline and cortisol. And as soon as that happens, obviously then it puts your body into okay, am I gonna run, am I gonna react, am I gonna think? And then respond, you know. So, straight away, your heart starts pumping, your muscles get ready to move. Like it's affecting your body just by what you've seen, what you think, and then the emotion that comes with it, because truly, a thought is just the thought until you attach an emotion to it. And once you attach that emotion to it, then your body jump starts.

Speaker 2: 9:30

But the problem is we have a propensity to avert pain, as we talked about earlier on in in your podcast, and when we do that, we don't acknowledge how we're feeling, because emotions are normal. There's no bad emotion. There's just either emotions that bring warnings or emotions that bring pleasure. And so when we feel jealous, for example, if you feel jealous, a lot of people feel ashamed of that and hide that. But it's like you shouldn't hide that, because feeling jealous, that could translate to you then taking action against another person because you might be jealous of their house or their success or who they've married Right, and when you don't acknowledge that, it settles in your I call it the penile gland energy center, but of course you may know that as the third eye, right, true, and so the Ramoni method still encompasses holistic techniques.

Speaker 2: 10:41

It bridges the gap between science and holistic techniques, basically. And so when we go for an adverse traumatic experience, that, and we feel an emotion, but then we suppress that emotion, it ends up in our body, basically through our electromagnetic field, otherwise known as the aura, and it seeps into our body that way and through the seven energy centers, and that's its way in because that's attached to the endocrine system.

Speaker 2: 11:12

So that's why it's so important that, whatever you feel, yeah you need to express it and not to be ashamed of that, because ultimately you will end up in the body that, in a space that correlates to that emotion. So, like I've talked, like I've said, the penile gland is associated with a function of connection and intuition right. And if you're suppressing that, the malfunction will show up. When you're jealous, you'll have sinus issues, headaches, that sort of thing. So so it's telling you, hey, this is work that you need to do. By the time it ends up in your body, it's bringing you information and that's the information that's coming from the subconscious, saying hey, this is work that we've got to work on, we've got to do this, and part of what the Ramonim Method does help you do is unearth what those issues are in you so that you can free yourself from emotional baggage.

Speaker 1: 12:07

Exactly, very true. That's amazing. I mean it's powerful because, like, the body is always speaking, but most of us were never taught the language, so that's.

Speaker 2: 12:20

Right, that's true. That's a great way to look at it, avik, actually, yes, yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:25

Actually, yeah, that's true. That's a great way to look at it, abic actually. Yes, so, um, I mean, you have worked with executives, high performers, so so what? What patterns do you see when it comes to the emotional depression and the kind of toxic relationships in the workplace?

Speaker 2: 12:48

It manifests. Yeah, the key thing to remember is that in our personal lives, you know you have relationships and connections that you build with people, but when you're working that's when you're at work that is the next place you spend the most time at. Some people, especially of high executives that I've worked with, will spend more time at work than they are at home. So, whether you like it or not, whatever you have in your personal life, you're going to bring that into the workplace, and a lot of what I see when I'm working with executives is obviously they're stressed, right. It's trying to make decisions that are not tainted with their emotions. That's a place where you want to be able to manage your emotions, so your emotions are not affecting your decisions, and that's why emotional intelligence is so important, because, as I said before, a thought is just a thought until you attach the emotion to it, and in that setting, what I see the most of is not being able to communicate effectively with your team, not being able to see, because people just want to be seen, heard and understood, and when they don't feel that they're seen, heard and understood, it spills out and creates a toxic work environment, which also has something to do with upper management, right, because there's an old african proverb that my mom would always tell me growing up and it would say when the head of the river is dirty, the whole river will be dirty. So basically, it's from the top to be emotionally clear so that what they're passing on to their colleagues and their team is strength, is inclusion, is inspiring, so that they can be innovative right, so that they collaborate, because if the environment is toxic, it's difficult for people to collaborate and people will be afraid to speak up right, so that will kill innovation. So what my Ramoni method helps with is doing the deep dive work to figure out what your core wounds are that are preventing you from connecting in the workplace authentically or not being able to cope with toxic people.

Speaker 2: 15:31

And my best advice if you're in a situation for coping with toxic people, you can implement what I call the 4R technique, that is, you take a moment and you retreat, and you're retreating just to create a little bit of distance so that you can do the next thing with reflect. When you're away, there's no distractions. You can then reflect on what went wrong and why. You examine that and then you replenish. That is, you take time doing what fills your cup, and this is any, and you can implement that within any environment in a relationship.

Speaker 2: 16:12

But as it relates to work say, if that means you take a step out in your car and have a little meditation, because I mean, I've done that, that's what you do when I work with executives I'm like why can't you just take a step back? You've got all this time in the 24 hours on the day, just take five minutes taught in the bathroom, somewhere you're alone in the bathroom, in your car, you can do what you need to do that fills your cup get, get a drink, whatever that may be, and then you return and that means you go back to your environment or back to the relationship, refreshed, calm and centered. So in the workplace it's challenging dealing with people, there's no doubt, but there are ways that we can manage that stress. And when toxic people again are coming to you, you have to examine what is the lesson they're bringing, because there is a lesson that they're bringing too.

Speaker 1: 17:11

Exactly True. Yeah, amazing, amazing. And if we all embodied emotional intelligence, how different would be our relationship and maybe even our world look like. What do you say?

Speaker 2: 17:30

Oh, my goodness, you know, avik, that's basically calling the world perfect and sadly I wish I could say the world's perfect, right, but sadly this is the realm of dualityity, so it's never going to be that. But just just imagine if we were all emotionally intelligent. That means there would be no arguing, there would be no fights, we would all be authentically connected. So there would be acceptance, there would be no rejection, like it would be like heaven on earth, right? You know, I think what, what creates a lot of the unstableness and the the shifting that makes life so difficult, is the toxic people that are that, because I believe there's three types of people. There are what I call the bombers, and the bombers are people that they're here bringing lessons. They literally, like, they insert themselves in different parts of society, even the upper echelons of society, and their task is just to blow stuff up. There's no getting through to people like that and I'm sure, with me explaining that people, your audience will think of someone and be like, oh okay, that person's a bomber, right, and I'm not trying to limit, because labels do limit, but for the purpose of understanding we have to have some type of of description, right? So there's the bombers.

Speaker 2: 19:06

Then there's the lost. These are people who are kind of like on the way to the bombers, but they don't really want to go there. They are lost in their emotions and they are lost in their negativity, and they are lost in their negativity and they desperately are trying to figure out a way out. Some of these people will end up as bombers, but the majority of these people, they want help and those are the people that you can reach, because then you have light, the light workers, or the people of light who have been lost, who have experienced heartache and heartbreak, but then their job then is to say to been lost, who have experienced heartache and heartbreak, but then their job then is to say to the lost hey, this is the way We'll show you, the way you come up this way. So, in answering your question, yes, we would have a perfect world, right, if everybody was emotionally intelligent, but the goal is, and the goal of my work and my purpose is, to help those lost people find their way before they become bombers you know, yeah, lovely, amazing.

Speaker 1: 20:13

So any suggestions or advice you would like to share to the listeners?

Speaker 2: 20:22

Sure, I'm a really intuitive person and I you know, to me that person from beyond is Christ. But it could take different forms. It could meet the universe, it could be different forms for everyone, but times right now are really trying. It could take different forms, it meet the universe, it could be different forms for everyone, but times right now are really trying and everywhere you look there seems to be a lot of adversity. But I really believe that and know that life moves in cycles. Everything is cyclical. So what that means is, even if you're in a storm right now, that means that storm will pass and the avenue for helping you through that is leaning and tapping into support. So that means help from a friend or professional, right be it a therapist, a coach, whoever and you and your friends. That means, then, doing the deep dive work that you need to do, even if it's just checking in with yourself for five minutes a day to acknowledge how you're feeling and then release it in a healthy way. That means, then, develop a plan for yourself and then take action If it's to get a new job, build a house, buy a car, chase a relationship that you've been wanting, whatever that may be and then trust the process. Trust that process and then visualize a better outcome for yourself.

Speaker 2: 21:49

And one of the greatest things you can do when you are in adversity is to accept your current circumstances. Accept the reality. It doesn't mean you're giving up. It doesn't mean that you failed. What it's telling yourself is that I'm getting my head in the game so that I can make better choices, so you're letting go of baggage, and when you do that, you can continually nourish your body, your mind and your soul. So my advice to you is just to keep moving forward. I've what I've just gone through. There is the steps of the ramoni method. That's something that you can check out on my website, ramoniministriescom. But two quick things. Like I said, you to do is accept your circumstances, accept the reality of the situation so that you can put a plan in, and there's always hope.

Speaker 1: 22:47

There is always a way out yeah, true, lovely, that's amazing, really amazing. So, pamela, thank you so much, and you have shownar's uh, healing both science and soul, both surrender and strength, and to anyone who is listening right now, you are not broken, you are becoming so absolutely.

Speaker 2: 23:10

I love that. I love that yeah so.

Speaker 1: 23:14

So, listeners like, no issue I'm. I was just saying like, uh, uh, dear listeners, like, if pamela's board, uh words, uh strired something inside you today, then go check out her book how do I find love after heartbreak? And explore the ramoni method, as we discussed a lot about it today, and, uh, most of all, uh, give yourself permission to feel, because feelings don't make us speak, they make us real. So, um, that's, that's very important. So, uh, dear listeners, like, if this episode has moved you, do not keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who needs to, uh needs a reminder that healing is possible, love is always available and your body always and already knows the way to home. So, until next time, keep seeking, keep softening and remember that the most radical pleasure is knowing yourself fully and loving yourself always. So, with this hope, this is your host Avik, signing off from Pleasure Principles. Catch you soon on next episode. Thank you so much.